hawke: *watches the templar order go up in flames after they made mages live in fear & oppression for ages and literally caused kirkwall to descend into chaos*
hawke: this is so sad varric play despacito
One of those “characters get to read/watch their source material and use it to change the future” fics, except instead of the original show/book/whatever they just get handed a pile of memes, overly specific headcanons, incorrect quotes, and edits and have to try to piece together the plot from that.
Harry Potter: okay I have no idea how we defeat Voldemort, but apparently I survive long enough to give my kid a name everyone is really mad about. I think it’s Albus Severus? Maybe? I can’t actually tell– oh, this one is just a list of everyone who dies in the future! That’s something
*A bunch of Jedi sprawled around the temple with piles of datapads everywhere*
“Okay this is the twelfth joke I’ve seen about Anakin falling to the Dark Side and slaughtering younglings so I think it’s real”
“Careful, remember how many we found that claimed that Jar Jar Binks is the Sith Master? And we concluded that that one was probably a joke.”
“Are we sure? That theorist was pretty convincing”
So it was Salmon Run and it was high tide. But instead of being normal high tide it was like super high tide? By which I mean you were confined to a like 2×2 square at the very top of the stage. And instead of a normal comment on the wave Grizz just said ‘Oh, shit.’ in really tiny lettering and I laughed so hard I woke myself up
And Sometimes a Potato 